


waiting for death (i was already here)

by Anonymous



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, M/M, and achilles needs to stop pining on his public blog, in which zagreus really wants to quit his job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After having his resignation letter rejected by his father for the 44th time, Zagreus goes home and discovers his mentor's not-so-secret personal blog.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 366
Collections: Anonymous





	waiting for death (i was already here)

**Author's Note:**

> > surely there must be some modern day fic equivalent where Achilles runs a secret blog about life in hades' company and zagreus stumbles upon it only to find 10k word essays alternating between "than has the hots for zag" and "i had patroclus transferred to the main branch instead"
> 
> this fic began life as this tweet and then genius friends said epistolary patrochilles fic but aren't writing it so here's zagthan as...a little temptation...... 

The damages from Zagreus’ latest rout of the office should be enough to keep the Contractor’s family well-fed for at least another two months, by his own estimate of his father’s furious expression. Hades’ brows are furrowed at _least_ a few millimetres more than usual, and his scowl this time _definitely_ implies _unbridled rage_ over _indignant fury_. Even Cerberus is looking appropriately cowed, pitiful whines spilling from his throat as he snuffles beside the scorched desk.

Zagreus holds out his sheaf of papers and looks eagerly at his father, his fists clenched in anticipation, thinking, _surely this has to be the final straw_.

Hades takes the papers, tears them down the middle, and drops them onto the floor alongside Zagreus’ hopes and dreams. “No,” he says. “For the last time – _this had better be the last time_ – I will not allow you to leave the company.”

Zagreus takes his backup copy of the papers from his inside pocket and hands them over too. This is all symbolic – they have been playing this game for well over half a year now, and Zagreus knows better than to expect his stubborn, bull-headed father to give in so easily. Even so, he can’t help hoping. “What is the point, father? I am a thorn in your side when I’m here, and a waste of resources when I’m not. Pardon me for speaking bluntly, but we both know you don’t even favour me as a successor now. Why not cut your losses and let me go?”

“Your birthright and responsibilities are with this company,” Hades states, illogical as usual. “What will it take for you to understand that?”

“I’ll file a complaint to the Ombudsman,” threatens Zagreus. They have argued this point too many times for him not to emerge the winner of this fight. “I’ll tell the chef to put pomegranates in your dinner tonight.”

His father raises a scornful eyebrow. “As long as you live in my house, you will not gain control over our dinner menu. Try it, and I’ll see that you eat nothing but vegetables for a week.”

Zagreus may be, in his father’s words, _criminally slothful, irredeemably irresponsible, and despairingly naïve_ – but he is, at heart, a mere mortal man. Better men than he have declared that they would sell their souls for the beef steak their chef makes. It is one of the few advantages that his father still holds over him.

As he storms out of Hades’ office, he spots Thanatos standing against the wall a short distance down the corridor. He can tell by his friend’s stiff posture that his argument with his father has not gone unheard, but Thanatos seldom takes the initiative to acknowledge these arguments, and Zagreus isn’t particularly in the mood to discuss his ongoing failure to best his father, either. “Thanatos,” he calls, craving the twisted sense of satisfaction he gets from seeing Hades’ most treasured employee answer to him instead.

Thanatos inclines his head. “I have returned.”

Another part of Zagreus hates himself for dragging Thanatos into his family’s messed-up dynamics – this is his friend, not one of Hades’ numerous shades. The last thing Zagreus wants is to become as petty and ungracious as his father. “How was the trip?” he asks.

“Much the same as usual,” Thanatos remarks, “although the executives were somewhat more difficult to persuade this time. It seems there have been rumours of internal strife within the company. I wonder where those could have come from?”

Zagreus looks very determinedly at the blank patch of wall next to Thanatos.

“It’s nice to know that you continue to take pleasure in sabotaging my efforts,” continues Thanatos, as if he hadn’t been right there sending Zagreus tips from Google on how to set electrical fires in an enclosed space over text. “Was it worth the trouble, at least?”

Zagreus shrugs, letting his rueful expression speak for him. “I’ll get through to him someday,” he vows.

“I can understand your reasons, but you are fortunate to have the position you do.” Thanatos takes Zagreus’ hand in his; the shadow of a smile flickers across his face. “Nonetheless – and don’t tell anyone I said this – if you need any further advice regarding fires or floods, you have my number.”

The gentle pressure of Thanatos’ palm against his serves as an anchor to Zagreus’ swirling thoughts. Slowly, his mind settles. “I do indeed,” he agrees. “Thanks, Than.”

🔥💀

One of the first things Zagreus does when he goes home is to add another strike to his growing list of _Potential Ways to Quit My Job_. The next thing he does is open a new tab and start browsing, because there is no better method than distraction to get over a fresh dose of disappointment. After a few random searches, he ends up with _‘codex underworld_ ’ in his search bar.

He’s been trying to figure out what Achilles spends all his time on his phone on for a while now – he has a running bet with Dusa that he’s looking at something pervy, or related to that mysterious _him_ who keeps coming up in conversation when Achilles has had a few glasses too many of Ambrosia.

By pure luck, he had managed to catch a glimpse of those two words on Achilles’ screen whilst passing by a few days ago, but amidst all the conflict with his father he’d forgotten to look more into them until now. There are a couple of entries about books on old mythology and one suspicious-looking link that may or may not lead to some bikie gang’s official recruitment website. About halfway down the first page of search results, Zagreus pauses at a certain result.

> **CODEX OF THE UNDERWORLD**
> 
> (a secret glimpse behind the scenes of a certain major trading company)

The author of the blog purports to be a shy soul who goes by the pseudonym of _Forgotten Hero_ ; Zagreus scrolls back far enough to confirm that _yes_ , it probably is his mentor’s secret blog. The thought crosses his mind that this could be considered an invasion of privacy, but irritatingly inquisitive Zagreus has not spent many of his childhood years sneaking around his father’s study for nothing. Besides, if Achilles had truly wanted to keep his entries secret, he should have friends-locked his posts.

> _February 19 th, 20XX_
> 
> Another year passes without my beloved P. It is not my place to speak of him, and thus I can only turn to this empty webpage. I have only myself to blame for how things have turned out. And yet I cannot regret my choice, for how could I have been so selfish as to deny him the recognition he deserved? What use is regret now – doubtless he has already moved on to a better and brighter future without me.
> 
> The cruelty of life is that reason can seldom overcome the emotions of the heart.
> 
> 🌿
> 
> _March 3rd, 20XX_
> 
> The Boss’ son (I shall dub him the Prince, as he conducts himself in such a fashion one would think he were royalty) has once again laid waste to the office printer. That beast was only installed last week, yet he has managed to jam the rollers so thoroughly that even the repairman despaired of the case and offered the Boss a new printer under warranty instead. If that were not enough, the Prince took ink from the cartridges and drew a most wanton image upon the glass wall of the Boss’ office. Poor Dusa had to work overtime to remove the offending picture.
> 
> I attempted to deliver a lecture to the Prince, as is my responsibility, but I cannot say that I do not understand him. He is in a difficult situation, and his father is hardly the most sensitive man around.
> 
> Perhaps _he_ might have had an idea. He was always able to bring me back to my senses, back when we were working together. Presentations have not felt the same since he left.
> 
> 🌿
> 
> _March 22 nd, 20XX_
> 
> It seems a few wandering souls have taken an interest in this old uncle’s stories. I am afraid I have little new to share, save that our star employee, the Heir Apparent (I call him this because the Boss is more partial to him than he is to his own son, for obvious reasons), has returned from another successful campaign against those sly executives in our rival company.
> 
> I wanted to congratulate him, but he appeared deep in conversation with the aforementioned Prince. It pains my heart to disturb the two of them when they are together; they remind me of how I was with P. The Heir Apparent is normally a somewhat moody fellow, but he cherishes the Prince – that much is obvious even to me.

Zagreus blinks, a faint blush taking root upon his cheeks. Achilles has made several comments alluding to this belief in the past, but Zagreus had never taken him seriously. He is aware that Thanatos thinks of him more fondly than most, if only with the same affection a person comes to hold for an old sock they’ve worn enough to put a hole in.

They grew up together. Zagreus’ mother had been a surrogate for Hades, who claimed he had neither the time nor interest to spend on finding a suitable partner to raise an heir with. Whether or not she had held any affection for him, she had left soon after giving birth to him – the only evidence of her presence in his life is a poorly-hidden picture that Zagreus had found on his father’s bedside table whilst snooping around in search of blackmail material. As a result, Zagreus had been raised mostly by Thanatos’ family, just another face added to the crowd of kids in the Nyx household.

He is unsure how to best describe his relationship with Thanatos – _brothers_ is an uncomfortable word to wear, somehow, but he feels a coward whenever he defaults to _friend_. There is a part of Zagreus that still hasn’t graduated from the shock of seeing Thanatos playing bass guitar in a mesh tank-top during the school festival in their final year.

He shakes his head and sighs, bookmarking the blog site. He had meant to distract himself from his failure today, but it seems he has landed himself with an even trickier situation to think about.

Zagreus falls asleep wondering what Achilles meant when he wrote, _that much is obvious even to me_.

🔥💀

Charon takes one look at Zagreus the next morning and huffs out a derisive snort, opening the car door for him with a hint of mockery. Zagreus likes his chauffeur most of the time, but then again, he isn’t usually the target of Charon’s vicious sense of humour. It took Zagreus _years_ to pull it out of Skelly, but he’d eventually learned that the mysterious office betting pool was being run not by Hermes, as everyone believed, but by Charon himself.

He’s a good person for it, Zagreus supposes. Charon is careful with his words, if expressive with his body language, so while Zagreus still wonders who his sources are, there are worse people who could have been present at the last office Christmas party to witness him hang forty-eight mistletoe wreaths from the ceiling in Thanatos’ office and only put up stakes for _the person who set fire to Megaera’s hair after she blacked out_.

“Charon, mate,” he pleads, “have a little mercy. Dad sent me right back to ground zero yesterday.” He leaves unspoken the truth that he had been so preoccupied with the contents of Achilles’ secret blog that he had near forgotten the incident with his father. “Say, I know you’re on the old man’s payroll, but can’t you ferry me somewhere different once in a while? I’m not fussy, you know – I’ll take anywhere other than this _infernal company_ – ”

Charon raises an eyebrow at him from behind the mirror. Zagreus takes that as a no.

Here’s the thing: Zagreus has _tried_ the brute-force method. He’s made a run for it leaving the house in the morning, only to be dragged back to the car by Hades’ contracted lackeys. He’s tried sneaking out in the middle of the night, only to find Cerberus stationed by the door – Zagreus might be desperate, but he’d rather avoid a trip to hospital and a course of antibiotics if he can help it. He could almost swear that his father has fashioned both the house and the company like mazes on _purpose_ , as if keeping his son captive is the main objective of the buildings.

So Zagreus, well, he half-asses his work, scatters documents all over his desk, and spends more time by the coffee machine in the staff kitchen than by his computer. Even then, Hades refuses to fire him.

“You’ve gotta get yourself out of there, man,” Dionysus tells him. Zagreus can imagine him lounging back in his five-thousand-dollar armchair, plucking at a bowl of cold grapes while Zagreus is crouched in a corner behind a fake plant, trying to pretend he’s making a work call. “It can’t be legal, what he's doing to you.”

Zagreus snorts. “You’re telling me.” One would think he weren’t human, considering all the basic rights he’s been deprived of. It’s as if he is shackled to his father’s company by the blood running through his veins.

“I don’t know what to tell you, then” says Dionysus mournfully. He says this every time Zagreus calls. “I’m having a sick party next weekend; wanted to invite you, but I guess you’re going to be locked up in the house again. Say, is your lover-boy back yet?”

“I have no idea who you could be referring to,” Zagreus answers flatly.

“Thanatos, dude, your broody boy-toy. I’ve been meaning to ask him over for a while, but he’s a bit uptight when he’s not with you, if you get my drift.”

“It’s not like that,” says Zagreus, before he spots a shadow looming from around the corner. “Listen, someone’s coming; I have to go. Let me know if you make any headway on that limited-edition wine, okay? Father’s a right pain when he’s drunk, but at least he won’t know a contract from a resignation letter.”

Dionysus laughs, a loud, booming sound that echoes in Zagreus’ ears after the call has ended. The first flutter of cloth appears in Zagreus’ line of sight, and the tension drains from his body immediately.

“Death follows life,” Thanatos opines, although Zagreus knows that this particular line came from an old album by _Orpheus & Eurydice_ that Thanatos used to play on repeat for hours when they were still in university. He curls himself over Zagreus’ shoulder, peering at the phone screen. “As trouble seems to follow you. That didn’t sound like a work call to me.”

Zagreus jerks away, flushing. “How much did you hear?”

Thanatos shakes his head. “I didn’t hear anything, thankfully. I’m worried that if I did, it’d test my loyalty to your father.”

“My father doesn’t deserve your loyalty,” grumbles Zagreus. “It was just Dionysus. He wanted to invite you to a party.”

Thanatos’ mouth drops open in a little ‘o’ of surprise. “I’ve heard about your cousin’s parties. The rumours don’t make great incentive to attend.”

“Come on, Than, live a little.”

One corner of Thanatos’ mouth twitches in a semblance of a smile. It makes him seem softer, somehow, though his gaze remains stern. “You’ll have to teach me how,” he acquiesces. “I’m afraid I’m hardly an expert on the carnage and destruction you seem to enjoy so much.”

Zagreus tears his eyes away from the swell of Thanatos’ lips and grins. “Then if I invited you to a party, would you go?”

He wonders if he is imagining the way Thanatos leans into his space, just slightly – as if they had gone from two individuals to a paired group. It is this shift that tells him Thanatos’ answer before he speaks it. “I might consider it.”

Honestly, it’s a little bit overwhelming. Zagreus is ill-prepared for the heady rush that comes with knowing that Thanatos had answered for him, because of him; that Thanatos would step out of his comfort zone to accompany Zagreus somewhere. He realises, perhaps very late, that this isn’t a new thing, either. Thanatos has often turned up to various work events in the guise of making sure Zagreus is behaving himself, helping him to fend off overzealous associates or hoard extra canapes from the revolving trays.

Achilles’ words come to mind – _but he cherishes the Prince_. He feels his cheeks burn, his feet itching with the need to escape somewhere else, somewhere safe from Thanatos’ all-encompassing presence.

“Zagreus?” The current source of his panic looks at him with concern. “You’ve gone very red. Are you feeling unwell? Do you need me to contact Demeter?”

With the last shreds of his rationality, Zagreus manages to sputter out a refusal. “Please, _no_. It’s as if she’s compelled to dispense threats along with prescriptions. _Take this, Zagreus, but be aware that I can make your life far more difficult than a broken bone could._ ”

Thanatos huffs out a laugh and pries Zagreus’ phone carefully from his fingers. “She’s your grandmother, Zag. Ah, hello, Dr Demeter? This is Thanatos…yes, he’s with me at the moment. I’m worried he might have a fever…no, I’m fine myself, thank you very much. I’ll bring him down at once. I hope you’ve been well too; I truly appreciate everything you do for Zagreus.”

“You’re on better terms with her than I am,” accuses Zagreus, after Thanatos hangs up. “You traitor. Really, there’s nothing wrong; I just felt a bit flushed.” He doesn’t know how he’s going to explain to his grandmother that he’s getting a check-up because Thanatos is an oblivious charmer. Still, he allows Thanatos to slip an arm around his waist and pillows his head on his friend’s shoulder in exchange. “Why don’t you just carry me there while you’re at it?” he suggests.

Thanatos, the absolute _menace_ , actually does.

🔥💀

> _April 1 st, 20XX_
> 
> Many in the department suffered as a result of our resident trickster’s silver tongue today. Not even the Boss was spared; courtesy of his dear son, the default font on all office computers was changed to Wingdings, and much productivity was lost in the process of trying to turn the symbols into some semblance of comprehensible English again. Unfortunately, when he finally unscrambled the contents of his computer, he found that the important email he had been drafting had become an elegant piece of poetry detailing the characteristics of a fine father. Needless to say, the Boss did not share my appreciation for such literature.
> 
> In other news, it seems the Heir Apparent was told a devious untruth by his own brothers. I know not the details of their fib, but I personally witnessed him pacing restlessly near the kitchen (the Prince’s usual hide-away) with a bright blush upon his cheeks. I later saw him stalking down the corridor with an expression that could rival death itself – I do not envy Charon and Hypnos for their experiences that day.
> 
> When I spoke to the Prince himself, he regaled me with the strangest tale – on his last visit to the main branch, he spoke with a junior staff member, a dark and strong man who warned him not to believe the golden promises of the Elysium branch managers. How could this be, my brilliant beloved? If this is a prank, it is a cruel one indeed. Fear is for the weak. Fear is for the weak! I cannot allow myself to be swayed. How cruel and selfish I must be, to wish misfortune upon him to satisfy my own ego.

Zagreus closes the browser tab and stares at his computer screen for a very long time.

> _“I wanted to tell you that you need not wait for my agreement – you already have it.”_
> 
> _“Huh? …Oh, are you serious? I’ve been sitting around all day wondering when I should tell him, but I guess he’s been sufficiently enraged by now – perfect timing to make him_ really _blow his top. Thanks, Than. I owe you one.”_
> 
> _“Wait, Zagreus – ”_

“Cerberus,” Zagreus whispers, horrified. “I’m an idiot.”

The large Rottweiler whines impatiently and butts its head against Zagreus’ side. Evidently, his pet cares more for its favourite disgusting brand of dog food than for Zagreus’ love life. Fair enough. If Satyr snacks weren’t so overtly horrendous, Zagreus might envy his dog’s life. No need to think about domineering fathers or pining colleagues; no need to think about beautiful men who may be as in love with you as you are with them.

He pours a decent amount of foul-smelling garbage into the dog bowl and kicks a cleaning rag over the overflow. Hades can clean it up when he comes home. Serves him right for being a workaholic jail guard. Thanatos might be a kindred workaholic, but he still makes time to see Zagreus whenever he returns from an assignment. Thanatos is also in love with him. Zagreus trips over air and faceplants onto cold stone tiles. “I can’t take this,” he moans. “I need to talk to him.”

In spite of his forceful declaration, it still takes Zagreus twenty minutes of fussing over his phone before he can bring himself to push the call button. He yelps when Thanatos answers, sounding harried and breathless, and doesn’t _that_ bring Zagreus back to mesh shirts and bass guitars and Thanatos sweating all over the stage. “Zagreus? What’s the matter?”

“You,” Zagreus answers reflexively, then slaps a hand over his mouth. “Wait, no. You’re not the problem; I mean, I just need to speak with you. Preferably in person. Maybe at my house?”

There is a long pause from the other end of the phone. A faint whine sounds from his speakers.

“Or not,” he adds quickly. “It’s not urgent, if you’re busy. Are you busy?”

“…I’m not busy,” Thanatos lies. “Hypnos, _stay_. You’re not getting out of this just because it’s – don’t look at me like that! I’ll be having words with mother about your performance. This is the third time in three weeks that you’ve asked me to help you organise this timetable; all of these events have already occurred.”

“Uh,” Zagreus tries again, “it’s really okay. I’ll see you at the office, hey?”

He hangs up before Thanatos can reply, then runs to bed like his feet are on fire and screams into his pillow. _Fear is for the weak_ , the disembodied voice of imaginary Achilles says disapprovingly to him. _Like you can talk_ , Zagreus snaps back.

He doesn’t sleep well that night.

🔥💀

To his credit, Charon doesn’t comment on Zagreus’ sleep-deprived appearance, though his eyes gleam with an unholy light that makes Zagreus dread the car ride to work. “Your brother’s in an awfully good mood today,” he comments to Thanatos during break, sidling closer as if the proximity will protect him from whichever terrifying scheme Charon has cooked up now.

“He was whistling when he left to collect you,” Thanatos agrees, looking similarly disturbed. “Perhaps Hermes might know something?”

“I don’t know if I want to ask,” says Zagreus, eyeing Charon’s cheery visage with no small amount of trepidation. “Ah, speak of the devil.”

Hermes rushes into the room, light-footed as usual. He greets Zagreus with a short bow and a flash of teeth. “Hey, little boss! Sounds like you’re in for an exciting day today, according to my professional associate!”

Zagreus’ heart sinks through the ground. “Whatever do you mean by that?”

“Nothing special,” drawls Hermes, his grin stretching into something slyer, more sinister. “But I have it on good authority that one of the oldest bets on our books is going to pay out today.”

Confused, Zagreus steals a glance at Thanatos, only to see his friend’s face blanch white. A pale sheen of sweat covers his forehead, and Zagreus must really be sleep-deprived, because all he wants is to wipe it off – preferably with his tongue. “Than?”

“Tick tock!” Hermes skips over to Charon, slinging an arm around his shoulder. He snickers at the two of them standing bereft in the reception. “Time’s running out – you’d better be quick!”

Zagreus helps Thanatos to his office and shuts the door behind them. “You look terrible. What happened?”

“It’s nothing.” Thanatos waves him off. “More importantly, you mentioned yesterday that you had something to speak to me about?” His hands clench into fists on his lap; his gaze is lowered, fixated on some random point on Zagreus’ slacks.

Zagreus perches on the desk, bumping a stack of papers to the ground as he does so. “Whoops.” Thanatos flinches, but doesn’t stoop to immediately pick them up, and if the events before hadn’t set off warning bells in Zagreus’ mind, there’s no way he could miss this alert. “Seriously, don’t stress. If you’re not feeling well, we can leave it until later.”

“I don’t think we can,” snaps Thanatos, looking up so sharply that Zagreus scoots back in alarm, booting another sheaf of papers off the desk. Thanatos pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a long exhale. “Just tell me and get it over with, Zag.”

“I can’t just say it,” Zagreus protests. “It’s sensitive business.”

Something in Thanatos’ face softens. He looks helplessly at Zagreus and reaches out to touch his knee. “Matters to do with relationships always are.”

It’s Zagreus’ turn to go pale, his voice cracking as he yelps, “You _know_?”

A flash of uncertainty crosses Thanatos’ face before he shakes his head. “You never said anything, but the way you acted, sometimes…I thought you were more comfortable avoiding the subject.” Carefully, he says, “I know you didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want to force you to make a choice you didn’t want to make.”

Zagreus blinks, considers backing out now. His words may mark the death of the easy brotherhood they used to share, of the careful distance they used to keep from one another. He thinks of the picture in his father’s room, of the mother he has never known. He is not his father.

He rocks forward, closing the distance between them. He tips Thanatos’ chin with his fingers and kisses him, a soft, chaste touch of their lips. Thanatos’ eyes widen, his eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings in a breeze. “You know,” says Zagreus, conversationally, “I’m glad about this.” He presses a hand to Thanatos’ chest, feeling his chest expand as he breathes. Zagreus has never been afraid of endings. Rather, he is looking forward to exploring this new feeling presently taking flight in his heart, richer and deeper than the bond they had before. “And I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.”

Thanatos grips his elbow and draws him closer. His warm breath scatters over Zagreus’ ear. “Then stop,” he whispers. “I’m here already.” His fingertips falter against Zagreus’ arm, poised in place, eager yet patient, cautious yet willing.

Zagreus meets him where he is, sliding his palms down the side of Thanatos’ neck. He drags his teeth over Thanatos’ lips, insistent, and is rewarded by the caress of Thanatos’ tongue pressing against his mouth. Zagreus melts into the touch, winding his arms around Thanatos’ waist and locking him in. He feels Thanatos push closer in answer, their bodies close enough to match the twin beats of their hearts. “You’re always so warm,” says Thanatos quietly.

“And you’re always hot,” Zagreus jokes half-seriously, squeezing the back of Thanatos’ neck. Thanatos groans, but his lips curve up in a smile, and a satisfying dusting of pink rides high on his cheeks. Zagreus drags him back into a kiss, tugging him up and over him onto the desk, scattering papers onto the floor with abandon.

He feels free, and alive, and invincible.

🔥💀

“Pray tell,” his father begins, looking disapprovingly at Zagreus from across his stereotypically mahogany desk, “what you believe this accursed document is?”

Zagreus grins, unfazed. “I figured you’ve grown weary of me putting in my two weeks’ notice. I thought I’d mix things up a bit.”

Hades seems to swell up from his chair, face purpling with rage. “This – this is a _marriage certificate!_ ”

“At least I’m asking for your permission first, _Father_.”

“Boy, I’ll have you know that I _will_ – ”

“Will _what_ , Father? Fire me? Give me the sack? Boot me out of this hellhole? Please, don’t make me beg. By the way, I have a great replacement lined up –you might know him from the main branch. Does excellent work, and already acquainted with dear Achilles, too.”

His father, with what appears to be a great deal of effort, deflates. He steeples his hands and fixes Zagreus with an unamused glare. “I will insist on a formal ceremony,” he says at last, and it is Zagreus’ turn to leap up, startled. “Your cousin is _not_ to be left in charge of the festivities,” he continues, while Zagreus is still trying to find his tongue. “Your uncles are to be seated at the furthest end of the hall. You are not to incinerate any of the tablecloths.”

“Father, have you finally gone senile?”

“If, in your incessant incompetence, you are unable to complete even one of these simple requests – ” “ _Demands_.” “ – you must at least promise me this.” Hades looks fiercer than Zagreus has ever seen him; he looks like the CEO of a company, for once, instead of the world’s most deadbeat dad. “You will treat Thanatos well.”

Zagreus feels at once very small and very tired. His chest burns with a complicated mix of emotions – rage, indignation, gratitude, melancholy. He wonders whether this is the first time he and his father have seen eye-to-eye on an important matter. “I will,” he says. “You can trust me with that, if nothing else.”

Hades looks as if he is about to say something else, but Zagreus turns away, and the moment is lost. He remains silent as Zagreus leaves, the door shutting with a soft _click_ behind him.

“ _Death has arrived_ – Hold on, Zag, what’s the matter? You look like a ghost.”

“Than, come here, you won’t believe this – I just got served the shovel talk by my own father.”

**Author's Note:**

> (other things i didn't get to fit in properly:  
> \- charon and hermes earn SO MUCH from the zagthan betting pool  
> \- than is a bit of a chuuni and zag kinda digs it  
> \- than has absolutely dropped the 'one day you'll understand' and 'you should be thankful for what you have'-equivalent lines during previous arguments with zag about leaving the company  
> \- hades eventually gives lets zag resign because he figures if thanatos ends up taking over the company zag will be marrying into his inheritance anyway -> patrochilles reunion, yay!)


End file.
